I'm whelmed

I thought that after a half of a college education, I finally got the handle on this whole "school" thing.

I was wrong.

The reading for all my classes piled up, and before I knew it, I was staring at a solid five hundred pages of reading, due within the next two days.

Oy.

Not that the information isn't interesting, but, I'm so nervous and overwhelmed. I'm terrified that I won't finish. Not that I've never slacked off on my reading, but I just wanted to be on top of my studies. I want to do well this quarter. Like, really well. And at this early point, I already foresee myself failing.

I know. I know what you're thinking. "If you think you'll fail, you'll fail." But I'm shaking in my boots. I think that's my biggest fear; failure.

A small part of me is convinced that I'll flunk out of school at some point, that my book will be laughed at, that my life will become a wreck, a complete waste.

(Insert Panic attack here)

I'll deal with it though. I mean, I've survived a full two decades thus far without failing too miserably. I could have done worse, right?

Meh. At least I can say I've tried.

I'm going to go and try to tackle my humongous reading assignment, and daydream about the day that Ryan Reynolds falls in love with me (for the win!). Reading retention = zero percent.