From the ports of Delaware to the Redwood Forests

I'm worried about this summer.

I want it to be great, and since last summer, though fun, was not exactly great, I want to fix it. After all, this is my last summer of freedom. Pure, jobless, painless freedom.

And of course I have some ideas on what I'd like to do with it.

There are two options thus far; California or Delaware.

In California, I'd work in the Redwood forests at a travel lodge, in the thickets of nature. I'd be doing minor housecleaning and/or working at the gift store. I think I can handle it, but I'm not sure.

The good? I'd get to roam the forests and live on site for cheap. Nature, head on, not to mention a lot of research for my third book... muahahaha

The bad? I'd live on site. They said, and I quote, "lodging is one step up from camping." I think I can handle that. Of course, food storage rules would be strictly enforced, due to the LARGE BLACK BEAR POPULATION. Um, gulp?

The Ugly. Mice, spiders, and tics. Now, mice, I've never really had a problem with. Spiders, well, I need to get over that someday. But tics are another matter entirely. I've heard mixed reviews, from them burrowing completely inside somebody, to "they're just like mosquitos." Since I've never experienced a tic myself, I've of course imagined the worst case scenario, and that scares the shit out of me.

In Delaware, I would be in a volunteer/training program on a tall sail ship. A friend/acquaintance (alright, she's an acquaintance that I wish I'd known better) went through this program, and now sails the high seas FOR PAY whenever she pleases. I've been giving a lot of thought to a nomadic lifestyle, and this would definitely be a help. It sounds unconventional, adventurous, crazy.

The good? I'd be on a ship. Hello? Pirates of the Caribbean! I'd be with a bunch of crazy awesome people that I've never met, learning how to sail while on the high seas in the midst of summer.

The bad? I'm still not sure. There's the fact that I would know no one. Like, absolutely no one. I was brave enough to do it on the trip to Israel, but that blew up in my face. The 10% of me that is fiercely introverted took over my body, and as a result I made no friends, and had an awful time (ok it was still fun, but I would have had a better time had I just opened up). I don't know if I have to pay for lodging and board, and I'd be making no money.

The Ugly. Let's face it. I'm lazy at times, and this job is straight up hard labor. Not housekeeping, not sales; hard fucking labor. If I take either one of these jobs, I can't leave. I'm stuck, possibly miserable, for the entirety of my summer. My Last Summer. Did I mention I wouldn't know anyone? That scares the crap out of me.

I feel now is the appropriate time to tell myself these wondrous words of advice I learned from a new favorite movie of mine: Nut up or shut up.

I mean, really Kira. You wanted this. You wanted an adventure, to test your limits, the boundaries of what you can do, what you want out of the world. You aren't seriously going to run from the first test of truth with your tail between your legs?

Oh god, I'm talking to myself.

Sorry.

I just. I dunno. Sometimes it's smart to be scared. Aristotle said that. Or maybe Plato. One of 'em.

What do I DOOOOO??? What if I choose the wrong choice? What if I screw myself over completely? Or what if I don't follow through on either of them and spend my LAST summer in Wisconsin or Texas, rotting away without a license, at the mercy of my friends and parents like the sixteen year old I never wanted to be?

ARG.

Dear God,

Please choose for me, and make the right choice. Kthxbye.

-Kira (your loyal supporter, even if you didn't know it)

Merry Christmas

And a happy new year.

Yeah, whatever.

I'm actually looking forwards to the new year. Going out! It'll be the first one not spent in front of the television with family.

Not that I'm anti family. I'm just anti sitting in the front room celebrating the fact that I'm still alive. I mean, shouldn't you do something special to celebrate the fact that you're still alive?

That's what I think, at least.

I think that new years are the same thing as birthdays, except more generalized. So go out and live it up this new year's eve. I know I will be.

As for updates. I'm at home, doing nothing but playing WoW and editing. Hanging out with friends occasionally, but mostly not. I'm almost done editing, but I won't go anymore into that. If you want to know more, check out this blog, and leave a comment so I know I'm not writing for open air.

I can't wait for summer, because I'm the kinda girl who can't sit in one place for too long before losing it a little. I need a road trip. Now.

Finished up season 2 of Desperate Housewives. Spoiler: They're still desperate. I never know why I continue to watch, but something must have me hooked or I'd have stopped already. I'm more like Bree than I'd like to admit. You won't understand that unless you know me AND the show.

Alright, I think that about wraps up my life right now, other than I'm sinking into the "Dark Country" genre of music. Just because that's where my writing usually takes me. Well, that and West Virginia. Yeah. I know. What's a yankee doing trying to imagine life in the deep south?

Your guess is as good as mine. Well, other than the fact that werewolves can't run around in Wisconsin. They'd get shot like three minutes into the full moon. By hunters wearing cheese hats and orange vests.

Still alive

I'm still with the werewolves too, if you're wondering.

The truth is I'm kind of lazy with just about everything but writing (and sometimes even that too), so this and my other blog has suffered my neglect.

Sorry.

So, updates, I suppose.

My new love in music is the indie band, Iron and Wine, who are down low, chill, and emotionally intense (sans cheesiness). I'm enamored. Completely and totally.

I've finished up fall quarter of Junior year, and the next time I experience it, it will be my last. Crrazy right? I dunno how I feel finishing college, even if it does mean more free time and less stress. I feel like even though life gets harder and age can often mean wisdom, humans get increasingly dumb as they age. Not in all respects, but a lot of them. Needless to say, I'm worried. Oh. I got two A's and a C+ this quarter. I'm not too happy about that C+.

ALL of my series are on some sort of cruel and unusual hiatus, just in time for my three week stretch of nothingness. Great coordination, TV. Perfect.

I'm STILL working on my book. Yes, it's going. Like the energizer bunny. Except, maybe picture the bunny with a hammer, hitting me on the head repeatedly. It's still going. I've got this strange love hate relationship with it, an odd mixture of pain and pleasure, the hope for salvation paired inevitably with the fear of failure. I sense that this is the kind of thing lovers go through, except more talking.

I hope to finish editing the damn thing by the end of break, just in time to put myself through query hell as classes start. I'm a masochist, by the way.

Also, the weather here has reached "cold as a witch's tit," as quoted from my mother, which is great. I'm really happy that winter is here so I can enjoy it, and I'm extra happy that I'm not with my grandma and dad down in Puerto Rico, where it will probably be 75 degrees on Christmas day. GOD that would suck. No, I prefer polar bear weather.

...

Sorry about the pessimism, guys. It's late, and my internet connection is shaky, at best.

I'll end with this: I've started book two, I got some awesome headphones, and I've learned a lot since my last post.

Much love,

-K