And Tarleton Drops the Ball

The background information you need to know:

Tarleton is the college my dad teaches at, located in Stephenville, Texas. A guesstimation shows that 85% of the faculty are fairly liberal, while only 15% of students would fall under "liberal." It is safe to say, considering the bible belt location and a church almost LITERALLY on every corner, the town itself is quite conservative.

The Story as far as I know it:

For a project, a group of students were assigned to perform a play of "questionable moral standing," in which Jesus Christ and the apostles are portrayed as homosexual. This was NOT a public production. It was an assignment to be performed, viewed by invitation only (i.e. family members and close friends). Let me repeat, it was not open to the public.

The Complication:

Someone got wind of this, and the media promptly went berserk. Fanatical people (the crazy religious ones that may or may not burn crosses on people's lawns) began death threats, bomb threats, etc. The professor did not bend. Townspeople debated, the subject dominated headlines, and I was excited to see the campus flash its liberal side (which every university should do at least once in a blue moon).

The Immense Failure:

The night before the plays were set to be performed, officials notified everyone that they had been cancelled. Cancelled?!?!?

Cancelled?!?!?

In my opinion, this is a huge disappointment. Really? Really? The worst thing to do is give in to threats from the crazy people. Now, instead of being known for pushing the bar, Tarleton is the weak conservative university that lets the town tell it what to do. I feel like this was Tarleton's chance, and the ball was dropped faster than a hot potato.

Maybe next time, Tarleton.

Still in Texas, don't want to leave

I think spring break should be a few months longer. It's ridiculous (Or as my dad has been saying, riDONKulous) how quickly the time passed, and now I'm scurrying to pack my things as the clock brings me closer and closer to spring quarter.

I do miss Chicago, a little bit. Maybe I need some MORE absence to make the heart grow fonder, but I don't have that right now. Right now, all I have is an hour to shower, finish laundry, pack, and post this to my blog. Then it's high flying to the windy city, and a whole lot of work. Damn.

Yesterday, the pops and I went to a huge get together down in the real country of Texas, hosted by the guy who basically helped me get into NU. There was BBQ, corn, brownies, beer, wine, mashed potatoes, bacon-wrapped jalapenos, and this really amazing yummy pie called "buttermilk pie." I'd never heard of it before last night, but it's amazing! It's like pecan pie, but on crack. Good, tasty crack.

The host's daughter is my new favorite ten year old. The adults were cool and all, but she was freaking awesome. Once we found out that we were fans of Harry Potter, we gabbed about how disappointing the movies were, how awesome the books were, and then promptly exchanged "must read" lists. I told her about Neil Gaiman, and she told me about a series involving "Septimus." I still need to figure out the specifics of that. We also both LOVE the Percy Jackson series, which you should read if you have not done so already.

But it really made me smile to know that she was taking initiative, writing stories, reading anything she could get her hands on, and learning bits of Greek (How cool is that?!?!?!?). I want to be besties with her, or at least guide her towards a writing career as she grows up. I know, she'll be whatever she wants to be, but she'd make an awesome writer.

Anyways, it was really fun, and she was very cool. Wish I met more kids like that. Wish I met more adults like that.

In other news, there was supposed to be a student play performed on the Tarleton campus. Usually, I wouldn't care, but because of the circumstances (portraying Jesus and the apostles as gay, and the play being cancelled) I took interest. My next blog, which may or may not be today, will focus on this craziness.

Until then,

Adios!

Texas

It's strange how sweet a place is once you've been absent for a long time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, or something like that.

I'm in Texas right now, enjoying (slightly) warmer weather than Chicago, and even though I'm up painfully early, life is good. I've been eating good Mexican food, God-honest BBQ, and WAY too much Starbucks. Such is life with my dad. He's a caffeine addict, to the extreme.

I spent a little time up in Denton with my friend Laura (who just happens to be getting married soon, WAZA!), and I had a blast being girly. It's something I haven't done in a while, and it was just what the doctor prescribed. A day at the spa (don't over-fantasize it, because it was definitely a nail salon), a nice Italian restaurant, shopping at an outdoor mall, and getting a home-cooked meal. Basically amazing.

Did I mention the anime? It's a series I'm now obsessed with, called "Devil May Cry." It's about a half demon who slices bad demons in half with his SIX FOOT LONG SWORD. He's a badass.

Did I mention the puppy? A four year old pug, Paco won my heart (even though I'd met him before). He is not a badass though, haha.

Alright, since I posted on my dilemma about summer plans, I wanted to give you all a quick update: California hiking and Delaware sailing are out. Puerto Rico wedding and Florida Keys wedding are IN.

Yes, you heard it first here, my dad is getting married. It feels weird and awkward, but his fiance seems nice enough and if he's happy, I'm happy. As long as she doesn't turn out similarly to Snow White's step mom, if you know what I mean.

So I'll be spending a month (I'm thinking optimistically, here) in Puerto Rico, then run back to Texas for a week or so. Then it's off to Florida for the weekend (Maybe longer? I have to check with people)! Palm trees, my 21st birthday, and walking down the aisle (not MY aisle, per say. Just AN aisle). Sounds pretty sweet if you ask me.

My only problem? I'm afraid my attention hog tendencies will kick in, and the bride should not have to deal with a Leo on her wedding day. I'll try to keep it down, though.

New post coming soon, probably to rant about spring classes (in either a good or bad light... we'll see).

Toodles!

Walking the fine line

I'm not sure whether I should be tackling the second book right now. See, my stories always start as a crazy mixture of things I've seen and people I've met, with complete absurdity thrown in. They move around until I think I have a story.

But it's not a story yet.

Not even close.

Not the right story at least.

The story changes umpteen billion times until finally, I write it down.

But the problem I'm having now is that I don't know whether I should be writing it down when it changes so frequently. Am I not ready, or am I procrastinating the inevitable?

And would the story have changed much more had I not written it down in the first place? No, not much at least. I think to a degree I hit a point where I just need to get it out, where I need words to solidify the chaos in my mind, because without them I would only have the most emotional scenes worked out. Even then, it varies.

I can't afford to be this erratic if I want to be a professional writer. I just can't.

So what's the answer to my dilemma? I suppose I sort of half-know the answer already.

Suck it up and write.

Nut up or shut up.

Alright, explicit pep talk-esque sayings aside, I've already begun to write. If the story changes, I can always take the scenes and switch them a bit. It's not like I didn't do that with the first book at all. Some of my ideas change, some die, and some spring up from nowhere in the middle of a random conversation. I love those random ideas. They're usually the winners.

Sigh. Ok. Work now.

Note: I don't expect this blog to make sense to anyone other than myself and maybe three other people. Unless you're a writer, or clinically insane.

mmkay bye now!

Still whelmed, still alive (cheesy post? It's probable)

It's ok though. I mean, obviously I'm thankful to still be alive, but school is stressing me out like none other. No matter how hard I try I feel stressed all the time, about my book, about friends, about my education, about finances, about life.

I had an epiphany though (one that maybe I should have had a lot sooner); that won't ever change. Like it or not, there will always be problems, there will always be pressure, and (no matter how hard I try to avoid it) there will always, ALWAYS be drama in some form or another.

Bigger epiphany: I'm ok with that.

I'll probably forget this peaceful feeling when I'm at the library tomorrow, reading a book that I can't afford to buy and wondering how on earth I'm going to write a paper on it, but it's all ok.

It's proof that I want to do well, that I won't settle for failure, that I'm still striving to be a better person.

And when that isn't enough (because a lot of the times it isn't, and all I want to do is sit on a beach and write my book or splash around in the waves), I'll have people there who understand what I'm going through, because they're going through it too. And even when we should be working, sometimes we'll know to take a break, sit back, and have a glass of wine.

Then return to the craziness we all call life.

Hedonism may be tempting sometimes, but at this moment, with all the pressure on my shoulders, I still think it's worth it to suffer through college, as long as I can have some wine and good company along the way.

I'm whelmed

I thought that after a half of a college education, I finally got the handle on this whole "school" thing.

I was wrong.

The reading for all my classes piled up, and before I knew it, I was staring at a solid five hundred pages of reading, due within the next two days.

Oy.

Not that the information isn't interesting, but, I'm so nervous and overwhelmed. I'm terrified that I won't finish. Not that I've never slacked off on my reading, but I just wanted to be on top of my studies. I want to do well this quarter. Like, really well. And at this early point, I already foresee myself failing.

I know. I know what you're thinking. "If you think you'll fail, you'll fail." But I'm shaking in my boots. I think that's my biggest fear; failure.

A small part of me is convinced that I'll flunk out of school at some point, that my book will be laughed at, that my life will become a wreck, a complete waste.

(Insert Panic attack here)

I'll deal with it though. I mean, I've survived a full two decades thus far without failing too miserably. I could have done worse, right?

Meh. At least I can say I've tried.

I'm going to go and try to tackle my humongous reading assignment, and daydream about the day that Ryan Reynolds falls in love with me (for the win!). Reading retention = zero percent.

Footloose and other melodramatic things

It's really hard to focus on the drama when listening to Footloose, which may or may not be the reason I'm blasting it right now.

I want to focus on the awesome in my life right now, not the drama, because I am a firm believer that anger and frustration only feeds the drama in one's life. Unfortunately, I am high strung with a VERY short temper.

So let's talk about the good before I spend three pages venting.

Winter quarter has started, my final edits for the book before I send it out, my teacher finally sent out his edits for my first chapter. Basically Morgantown = Win. As for my life? Not bad either. I'm boldly going where I've never gone before: Mornings. Hopefully that works out. We'll see. And two classes seem very awesome, which leaves two classes for me to fret about.

It's probably not going to be as bad as I think it will. I just have to put the pedal to the metal or something like that, and it'll be fine. I even have a library schedule, since my library runs at the end of last quarter put the power behind my exponentially increased productivity levels.

Money is not too hot right now. I'm working a lot of shifts, but even with the loan I took out, book costs for this quarter are through the roof, and I think my teachers are trying to put me into debt. They're out to get me.

Haha, just kidding. I don't think they're out to get me. I'm not in high school anymore.

Speaking of high school, and drama, I've recently been in more than a few situations that remind me what I don't like in a person.

It's never fun to meet the downside of people, but lately I've been doing a lot of that. Not that I've lost faith in humanity (I haven't seen Avatar yet, though, so who knows?), I just know what kind of person I want to associate myself with, and sometimes I misjudge it.

I don't even want to think about what I've been bitching about for the past few days, because really, my life is pretty damn awesome. Everyone has their demons though, I know that. But some things can't be explained away just because "it's a problem," or "my life is hard."

There comes a time when you either rise above it, or fall victim to it.

And I won't hang around people who use their situation as an excuse. I'm sorry. I just won't.

Thats my vent. I'm done now.

I still haven't decided about my summer plans though... help?