Tourists in Tortuga, or something like it

Alright, so I’m sure a ton of stuff happened between Lares and Ponce, but I’m trying to give you the highlights of my trip. Not the play by play. Today, I give you Tourists in Tortuga (or something like it)

We woke up early on Saturday to get ready for Ponce, and we packed the cooler for a long day: Captain Morgan, Coke, Medalla (beer), and water. Not to mention pork rinds and chips. We were ready for just about anything, heart attack or no.

We met Mari (Janet’s cousin) and her family on the road, after stopping for a local drink called guarapo. It’s made out of sugar cane, and it’s overwhelmingly sweet. Also, it’s damn tasty.



It was a long drive to Ponce, despite the short distance between Ponce and Arecibo (the town I’ve been staying in). The winding roads man, they’re killers. It got terrible in the mountains. Twenty full minutes of ten miles an hour, winding around in the car and hoping to god you don’t puke.

Sorry. TMI. I know.



Once we got there we paused on the highway (which people do A LOT around here) to take pictures, eat some chips, and have a drink.

Then we made it to the coast (a place called La Guancha), where there was a beautiful beach walk.



It’s the side of Puerto Rico that faces the Caribbean Sea. I wanted so badly to go to Tortuga, but alas, it wasn’t an option. Maybe next time. To console myself, I bought pirate bling, which I firmly believe is my best purchase so far. See?



Then we saw PELICANS!!! I kid you not, friends. LOOK:







I was firmly enamored by these adorable yet terrifying birds, and we all took too many pictures. They almost started to attack us. Shiver. Have you SEEN their beaks? They can do crazy things with those.

Dad eventually dragged me away from the pelicans and we went up this cool viewing tower thing.





It was cool to see everything from so up high, but the whole time I just wanted to jump into the ocean.







Once we had our fill of the sea (I could have stayed all day, but that wasn’t on the table), we headed back to the car to have… you guessed it: another drink! Cuba libres (rum and coke) have become my numero uno. So good. So tasty. Yum.

Then we were off! Off to a cross type place called La Cruz Del Vigia. Yes. It was basically a building… in the shape of a cross.



The View:



About a block behind it was a castle,





and in front of it was this intricate Japanese garden.





The view from the top of the cross was awesome, and the Japanese garden was beautiful, but I wasn’t too impressed with the castle. It was more like… a large expensive house. A mansion. Definitely mansion material. Not a castle though.

The whole day was a blast, even the long drive back. In an effort to avoid the tiny winding mountain roads (probably pretty dangerous at night), we went through Mayaguez. Coincidentally, that’s the same city where an Olympic-like set of games for all of Central America is being hosted. So we hit a ton of traffic. The drive went from one hour to two, and dad (being his typical self) insisted on a coffee break in the middle.

Go figure.

Last random point: We got Church's chicken for dinner, across the street from a CHURCH! HA! GET IT? Get it?



HA!

Puerto Rico 3: Wisconsin. Sort of.

I feel like a terrible blogger. Been thinking a lot about the one post I managed to upload so far, and I think it came off more like crazyinsaneangrybitterwriter.

Not quite what I was going for. No.

I just meant that I don’t like it when people treat writing like it’s super easy, like anyone can do it. Crap, I’ve been at this “writing books” thing for years now, and I don’t even know if I can do it.

It’s kind of like on Scrubs (LOVE that show. NU love, right?), where Zach (What’s his name in the show? I’m talking about the main character) is always having his inner monologue. It’s not always nice, and it’s not always smart. In fact, it’s rarely coherent. That’s what that blog post was. My inner monologue, one that’s been pent up for a long time.

But enough of this. Onwards!

Many things have happened since the last post I wrote. I have a whole week to write about, so if you want, feel free to skip to the pictures. I like them more anyways.

On Sunday we went to the beach with Janet’s cousin and her family. They’re all really nice, and we had a lot of alcohol and snacks.

Jorge, Janet’s son, made what NU students call “jungle juice” out of water, tang, and a whole handle of vodka. Shake it up in the gallon of water, serve on ice with a shot of rum. Magic. I don’t know what he thinks of me (language barrier and all), but he instantly won me over with that concoction.



The beach itself was marvelous, even though it was more crowded than Michigan Avenue on Black Friday. A line of rocks blocked the current, so it was mostly calm. There was nothing, however, that could block the sun. I got burned. Bad.

What’s that, you say?

Yes, I used sunblock. I forgot to reapply after going in the water, so my sweat proof, water proof, long lasting sunblock clocked out after a half hour of beach time. Super fail.

It was miraculous, however painful it was, that the sun even shone at all. It’s been raining the whole few weeks I’ve been here, only letting up about three times: Once for Old San Juan, once for the light house, and once for the beach.

After the beach, there was no escaping the rain, so we drove down to Lares, a town closer to the center of the island. It’s up in the mountains, and quite frankly, it’s beautiful.



Yeah. We hung out there, and it didn’t rain. When I say we “hung out” I definitely mean that we got ice cream, looked around for twenty minutes, and left.



Because Ice cream is definitely worth the drive, and I say that without sarcasm. This particular ice cream shop is renowned for its quality as well as its variety.

Hem hem.

Variety.

I’m not kidding about that word at all. They had the normal flavors, like chocolate and vanilla. They even had the island flavors, like quenepa, parcha (passionfruit), and coconut. Then they had… well… weird flavors. Like garlic flavor, and bacalau (a fish dish… no joke). They also had corn, carrot, and rice flavored. Check it:



I didn’t go for the path less taken. I stuck with passionfruit and coconut, because it seems logical to make something sweet out of… something sweet. But something sweet out of something savory? Not too sure about that.



After we abandoned the town, we drove around for a while and got wonderfully lost. It was a pretty fun adventure.



LOOK! A MOO!



Basically, Lares is famous for its ice cream, and its cows. Highest dairy production of Puerto Rico, or something like that. In other words, it's like the Wisconsin of the island. Hehe. I know my fellow Wisconsinites will appreciate that one.

Alright, I’m going to end this post here because there will be a lot of pictures, but get pumped because PONCE is next, and it’s basically made of awesome.

Listening to: Incubus. Seriously, ANYTHING by Incubus.
Eating: Quenepas. So. Many. Quenepas. Oh, and cremitas de coco.

The Lighthouse, Pirates, and Endless Rain (July 17)

I remember reading the first entry of Kate’s Blog and thinking how much it would suck if it rained through my vacation. Yeah. About that.

It’s been raining for the past week, on and off, but very hard. Lightning storms kept me up one night. It sounded like the lightning was going to hit the house. And don’t even get me started on the wind. I was listening for tornado sirens for a solid hour before I realized that here in the Caribbean tornadoes are nothing. Hurricanes are where it’s at. At least there’s more of a warning for them, right?

We visited my great aunt Elba the other day, and she made us really yummy smoothies:



I know there's pineapple juice in them, but beyond that, I've no idea. Made of goodness, though.

I also got to see her son, Pedro (who we call Tai… I don't know where he got the nickname, so don't ask):



The rain poured down, but we sat on her porch and talked a lot. With them, at least, I feel comfortable breaking through the language barrier and making mistakes with my Spanish. I don’t know how I didn’t realize how cool Elba was last time, but I really enjoyed visiting her and Tai.

The rain did stop twice for us so far. Once, when Dad and I went to Old San Juan (see the last blog post). It was so sunny and beautiful. The second time was yesterday, when we went to go see the lighthouse. Again, very sunny, and very beautiful.

I was excited to go, even though I was confused. After all, how much is there to see in a lighthouse, other than… the light? Turns out they have a whole park around the historical monument, complete with food, a playground, and a cave (SO COOL!). Our trip coincided with the trip of a local school, but the kids mostly stayed on the playground, so we mostly had the park to ourselves.

All together there were four of us; Dad, my great aunt Elba, Janet’s niece Ivonne (who we picked up the day before from the airport), and me. Ivonne is a sweetheart. She’s seventeen, and knows a hell of a lot of Spanish, even though she lives in Connecticut. She comes to Puerto Rico every summer, a fact I am insanely jealous of. I think my Spanish, and the connection to the Hispanic part of me, would be more solid, more intact, if only I tuned into it more often by coming here.

Anyways, we made our way to the dock type thing, and this is what we saw:



Yes. A BOAT playground! Confession: I thought they were real boats for .5 seconds. Then I came back to reality.



Then we walked up the hill to the lighthouse itself. On the way, we saw a huge iguana!



Can you see it? I swear, it was posing.

Up at the lighthouse, the view was incredible:






Also, there was cool guitar music playing at a nice volume from speakers. It seriously put me in a good mood, like my life at that moment had a soundtrack. I now firmly believe that every tourist attraction should have a soundtrack. Amazingness.

Another fun thing about this park? The bathrooms were made of mini lighthouses:



Epic win, right?


The stairs were cool, but precarious:



Inside, the lighthouse had been turned to a museum of historical boat-themed stuff:







TREASURE CHEST:



MINI SHIP:



Unfortunately, my camera died shortly after this, so I didn’t get the super cool pirate cave that Ivonne and I braved. The adults (no, I’m not an adult yet. Don’t say it) waited outside, thinking that it would be a stupid kid thing. But in the end, they missed out on the superior air conditioning. Among other things.

Just like in the lighthouse, there was a soundtrack. This time, it was from Pirates of the Caribbean, which made me a very happy camper. At the beginning of the cave, there was a bunch of pirates in silly poses. Cliché stuff. There were some funny lines, but over all, it felt kind of like a cheap version of the Disneyworld ride. I was fine with it, because of the music and the air conditioning. Then there was this really dark hall, and red eyes lit up, and Ivonne and I got really freaked out.

But right after that, there was a sort of mini aquarium. Since I’ve never been to one, it was really cool. There were baby sharks, and eels, and all kinds of shiny fish. It was so cool! There were a few more tanks like that, and then we saw a baby alligator, and (in a separate tank, of course) turtles (sea turtles, mate).

We walked into the next chamber and there was a small pool with a wooden bridge over it. Guess what was in the pool? Go ahead, guess.

Sting rays!!!!

SO DAMN AWESOME!!!!

I was so angry my camera died, but it was still a lot of fun.

After that, we got food (really good food), and Elba bought a coconut. She got the top sliced off and we drank the coconut water inside. Ok, so it was mostly me drinking the coconut water, but in my defense, no one else really wanted any. It was so good!

Later that day, Dad, Janet, and I went to visit my aunt Maggie and her husband, Pedro. In case you’re wondering, most men in my Grandma’s family are named Pedro, haha. We went to the country club, where a party was being hosted by the basketball champions of Puerto Rico (Los Capitanes de Arecibo). Basically it was a party to cater to the rich sponsors so they still cough up money next season.

Maggie and Pedro are members of the country club, so we went through the party and hung out at the bar. I got my second drink in a public place; a rum and coke (or as they call it here, Cuba Libre).

Aunt Maggie and Uncle Pedro:


I wish I could have talked more to Maggie, but she was across from me and because of the basketball party, it was so loud.

Today I spent my first day at home, since Dad and Janet have some wedding business to take care of. I’ve been getting a lot of writing done, mostly in the mornings before we leave and at night after everyone is asleep. I’m really happy, because I think my latest project is turning into a real book. Right now I have 10k words, and I’m still going strong. I got a lot of writing done earlier, but now I’m hungry and there’s almost no food in the house, except for cereal and Oreos.

Womp womp.

Hopefully later I’ll get out of the house, but if not, tomorrow we’re going to the beach!

Well, as long as it doesn’t rain.

Puerto Rico 1 (Days 1-3): The Monsoon Begins

Note: There are at least 7 Puerto Rico logs total. I'll try to put writing related posts in between these, but I make no guarantees.

The first night I got here, it was raining. Dad and I grabbed our bags and we searched for Janet (his fiancé) in the parking lot. Once we got past the white lights, there were palm trees everywhere. We found Janet after a short walk, and began the hour drive home.

Puerto Rico is tricky, in that if you’re not paying attention, it can fool you into thinking it’s just another part of the USA. Walgreens is rampant, along with Walmart, Kmart, and CVS. All the major fast food chains are here, too. But then there’s the hills and mountains. And if you open the window at night (which is impossible not to do at home… more on that later), you can hear the coquis (small frogs that make big noises) chirping merrily away. Especially when it rains.

We stopped for food on our way home, and I got a Cubano sandwich (a whole lot of pork, mustard, and pickles on thick white bread) and a Malta India (like beer and coke, without the alcohol). So good.

I crashed once we got to Janet’s, right after a long awaited shower and the promise of a VERY early morning (six am… five am CST).

Ok, that’s a lie. I finished SHIVER before falling asleep, and it was SO GOOD. I loved it. The ending was beautiful. This merits its own blog post, so I’ll stop ranting. But if you haven’t read it, read it. I especially recommend it to people who don’t like YA, because it’ll prove any negative presumptions you have about it to be false.

Back to Puerto Rico:

In order to use the good car, dad and I would go with Janet to work, then pick her up later. Six am came, and I woke up after a night of loud storms, cackling dogs, and yard work (the neighbor is crazy, I promise).

We drove an hour and a half to San Juan, which I found out isn’t the same vicinity as Old San Juan. It’s like Chicago, in that you can really be in Evanston but tell people you go to school in Chicago. Oh. Is that just me?

After we dropped off Janet, dad and I got breakfast at a diner. Eggs (juevos), ham (jamon), and toast (pan… frita?) made for an amazing breakfast. Let me just point out the toast in Puerto Rico is NOT the same as toast in the states. If the toast here were the standard for toast in the states, the Atkins diet wouldn’t exist. No one would be able to refuse the buttery flaky bread.

Also, I found out that despite the vast differences between the states and Puerto Rico, there will always be old men in diners arguing pointlessly about politics. Good to know some things never change.

Soon we were off to Bayamon, where my great aunt Marta and dad’s friend Abel live. We stopped at Kmart to grab me a bathing suit (which I love, AND only paid 11 dollars for! Score!), and then we went to visit Marta. It was nice to see her again, but the language barrier freaked both of us out enough that we didn’t talk much. Dad couldn’t get a hold of Abel until we were about to leave, only to find that Abel will be in Ponce until August 1.

Bummer. Abel is a lot of fun, and from what I remember from my last visit, he and his family were super nice to dad and I. Apparently they’re like brothers. I heard a lot of great embarrassing stories about dad from Abel. I hope we can meet up at some point.

As we drove back to San Juan, dad decided that we should go check out El Morro, the fortress surrounding San Juan. So we got a parking space and strolled down Old San Juan. We had a quick lunch of what I like to call “Plantain Lasagna,” (god it’s so much better than it sounds, or looks:



Then we made our way to El Morro, but it was so beautiful, so we took our time:





Finally we made it to El Morro:





We went inside the fortress, which was really cool:









The major problem was dad’s foot. Janet got sick of crocs (just like the rest of the world) and got dad some tasteful shoes. He wore them without socks, and soon they started cutting into his heel. Ouch. We had to stop and get him some different ones. Check out the fat cat hangin' in the store:



The other problem was the sun. It was beautiful outside, but I think if I stayed much longer I would have baked through and through. Once I had my fill of El Morro, we walked down this really cool street that has a lot of cute tourist shops. At the end of it there’s a church with a very cool story.

Apparently, in the old days they used to have horse races down that street, and a man lost control and went over the cliff. Miraculously, he lived. In honor of what they believed was a miracle, the town built a church on that spot.

But enough about churches. Let’s talk about booze:



Dad took me to the bar where the piña colada originated (supposedly) and bought me my first alcoholic drink! Ok. My first alcoholic drink in public. See?



The bartender was making fun of a few Americans. “Where are you from?” he asked them, “and don’t say Texas. It’s too predictable.”

Sure enough, he asked us. “TEXAS,” my dad said, sure to use an accent. Sigh.

We also met this nice couple celebrating their 18th anniversary. They were on a cruise through the islands, and they could throw back rum like nobody’s business. As dad and I left, they started on their third drink. And the bartender was NOT stingy with the rum.

Note: It is super tasty to dip a maraschino cherry in rum and then eat it.

I’m proud to say that despite that long outing in the sun, I am not burned. We picked up Janet and grabbed some mofongo before going home:



I also had another Malta India:



It’s getting really addictive at this point.

Today wasn’t nearly as interesting, though we did get to visit my great aunt Elba. We also stopped at this cool bakery place for lunch. I got another Cubano, and then dad picked out some amazingly tasty pastries that are like the cheese Danish’s superior cousin.

My only regrets so far? Quenepas seem to be out of season, and I haven’t been in the Ocean yet.

Reading:
1) Pride and Prejudice
2) Good Omens
3) Women Who Run with the Wolves

Listening to:
1) Werewolf by Cat Power
2) Coquis
3) Crickets
4) Rain

Spanish Lesson of the day:

Casa means “house.” Casar means “to get married.” To get married, according to Spanish language, is literally the verb of “home.” To get married is to make a home. Do not miss spell Casar. If you miss one letter (replace the S with a Z), you may say “to hunt.” Which may or may not be the word you were looking for originally.

***

I’m going to go partake in what I’m sure will be a wonderful dinner, and hope that I still fit into my bridesmaid dress.

Feels like heaven, peeps.

Hasta Luego!